Category Archives: Family

Muse about the fam

He still redeems

This is what the Lord says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is good for you and leads you along the paths you should follow. Isaiah 48:17

I missed a lot of time with my wife and daughters while I worked in sports television, but none more concentrated as when I was gone for the better part of a month doing the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens, Greece. Opportunities like that were amazing, but I knew that I could never get back the time that I missed with my kids.

And yet, I experienced the redemption of time today.

My oldest daughter is now a 3rd grade teacher in Arkansas. She called me last week to tell me that her class was studying the history and culture of Greece and wanted to know if I could send her some pictures from my trip. Somewhere in the conversation, we got the idea that we should try a Skype call in her classroom so that her students could ask me questions about my experiences. We set the date for today.

Skyping with a great bunch of 3rd graders

The kids had thought out a handful of questions to ask… they wanted to know about the buildings, the Greek language, and were absolutely amazed that anyone could be in an airplane for so many hours. We talked about the food, the landscape and maybe the most important thing, I taught them how to say ‘thank you’ in Greek…. it was wonderful.

In about 35 minutes, God had managed to take what was a loss of time together 7 years ago and turn it into something that my daughter and I will always remember; the day her dad got to be a guest speaker in her classroom, from 1200 miles away.

Σας ευχαριστώ, ο Θεός, ο λυτρωτής μου (Thank you, God, my redeemer)

Guest Post – The Four Year Mark

While I realize that this blog has evolved into a church media spot, today I will go a bit more personal. You see, today marks 4 years since my mother passed away after a brutal fight with lung cancer. Most days, I feel like I’ve gotten passed most of the sadness, but then April 26th. rolls around and it all comes running back.

My oldest daughter called me a couple of weeks ago and asked if I had a moment for her to read something for me. After hearing it, I asked her if I could honor her grandmother by posting here today (thank you, Larissa):

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Grandma’s Vice

I got the call on Thursday, April 26, 2007.  I’d been anticipating it for weeks – months really.  I was on edge any time my phone rang.  I knew it was coming, but even as my dad’s number flashed on my phone I wasn’t prepared for his words, “Grandma’s gone.”  At 19 years old, I had yet to deal with death personally.  I had never known such sorrow in my life before that April morning, and have yet to know it since.

I think I knew from an early age that they would kill her – the cigarettes.  She certainly knew how to kill a pack and at her peak she killed 3 a day.  Her life was ruled by her next cigarette break.  Everything that came from her house reeked of cigarette smoke – clothes, gifts, and sometimes even baked goodies.  I hated that smell.  And at the end of her life, I think I hated that she slowly killed herself day by day ignoring the stench that I loathed.

After a night of crying, a test, and a two-hour trip to the airport, I was back in Phoenix for Grandma’s funeral, trying my best to balance grieving and studying for the final exams that awaited my return to school.  Coming to terms with a new reality was a very long process that had only just begun.

One moment in my grieving that I will never forget was having the privilege to deliver the scripture reading at her funeral.  It was a passage from the Book of Wisdom, an inclusion of the Catholic Bible, that I was not familiar with but knew, being the scripture of my Grandma’s life, would have been written on her heart. Maybe that’s why it took such a hold of me.  It wasn’t some cliché passage I had heard repetitively in church so I could truly take in the words and the ideas behind them.

But the souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them. They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us, utter destruction. But they are in peace. For if before men, indeed, they be punished, yet is their hope full of immortality; Chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed, because God tried them and found them worthy of himself. As gold in the furnace, he proved them, and as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself. Those who trust in him shall understand truth, and the faithful shall abide with him in love: Because grace and mercy are with his holy ones, and his care is with the elect.

As I stood on the stage of my grandparents’ church, I could hardly read these touching words through my tears.  My tears were full of sadness and anger at the same time.  My heart was breaking with the realization that she was truly gone, but I was angry that she could have prevented her death.

There are days when I miss her so much it hurts, like my wedding day when she wasn’t there to see her pearls as my “something old.”  Other days it’s simple things like birdseed and honeysuckle that remind me of her.  I know part of her will always be with me.  I just wish she had fought her vice.

-Larissa Webber

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My plea to smokers: Some one loves you dearly… perhaps many do. Don’t cut your time with them any shorter than it has to be. I know that quitting smoking is one of the toughest things you can go through, but it’s so worth it.

Thanks.

Confessions of a Church Video Director: Run Over

This post will start with a visual aid, a moment from my career as a TV camera operator back in 2003 when I was covering an NBA game in Phoenix, AZ.

(Embedded video HERE)

That was my job. Right on the court, just inches from large athletes moving at top speed.

This clip shows just one of the many times that I got run over while on the job.

My hat and glasses went flying. I rolled backwards like a turtle. But the show must go on… so I dusted myself off and got back to work. Just another night at the arena.

Here is where I spin that story into a blog post:

3 years ago, I was working at a church that had hired me to “take them to the next level“. Early on everything was fine; the next level often means changes and the folks there seemed to embrace the changes I was making; sometimes reluctantly, others with a little more vigor.

Taking the job was not easy for my family as it meant moving about 2,200 miles… Moving my wife away from her mother, sister and friends… Moving my daughter away during her junior year of high school.

And then I got run over.

I didn’t realize that I was being run over until about 8 months into the assignment. My character began to be  questioned, my work was minimized, and all of my next level thinking was rebuffed. It was much different than being plowed by a point guard… Rather than being struck, I found my self stuck.

Stuck in a job that was giving me ulcers.

Stuck in a job that was making me seriously question my faith. My calling. My ability to lead my family.

I was completely run over.

One big problem here: This wasn’t the sidelines of a major sporting event, this was a church. A place where people are supposed to be gracious, kind, and supportive. Perhaps I will go into more of the details of all that happened there another time, just understand that by the time that I knew I had to leave, I was near ready to call it quits with church-work and do something else. Fortunately, I found a new job with an amazing church that I love to this day.

My confession: While I love God’s Church with all that I am, some of the wounds that I incurred in my previous position still sting a bit. Much the way an old injury will leave you with a scar or a slight limp, I wonder if I will ever be able to shake all of what happened to me. I want to be all that God wants me to be and I don’t want my past to define my future. People let me down, God didn’t… I can’t ever lose sight of that.

Rather than this muse being just another indictment on the inner-workings of the Church, I’d rather have it be a step in the direction of healing and forgiveness. Maybe you have been hurt by a church’s leadership… maybe you’ve questioned God’s calling…

Maybe you’ve been run over too.

Be encouraged; You will heal. You may lose your hat and your glasses, but you can dust off and go back to work.

For God’s gifts and his call can never be withdrawn. Romans 11:29

Screens and noises

1796921004_ede6c7c776This is a post where I’m calling myself out… and maybe there’s a reader or two that can relate as well.

So much of what I do, professionally and personally, involves screens and noises. At work, I’m either shooting or editing video, various screens and noises required… at home, I love to watch movies and various shows with my family, usually with my laptop open, watching my twitter and facebook feeds, all in the name of staying connected. Even when I’m out and about I get a steady stream of texts and tweets on my phone to the point that if several minutes go by without one, I get a little antsy.

I met a friend for coffee a couple of nights ago. Oddly enough, this is a friend that I met via a connection made through twitter… and while our friendship began behind avatars and direct messages, I now count him as one of my closest friends. Regardless of the ease of engaging (or avoiding) people electronically, there is nothing that can ever replace the real connection that can only come when we interact face to face.

Here’s my problem: I’m not making enough time for these connections… maybe I should say that I’m not leaving room for these connections. When my wife asks me if I’d like to run to the store with her, I need to recognize that it’s not that she needs help picking up everything that she has a coupon for… it’s about time together. Time with no TV on, time with no phones chirping, time to just be “us”, even if it is in the grocery store.

Remedy: Take time to unplug. Obviously, I need to make a living so there will always be a good chunk of my day tied up with my electronics… but beyond that, I need to use my time wisely to really connect with people who mean so much to me.

Bottom line: Never use screens and noises to replace faces and voices.

To pull it or leave it

On April 18, 2008, I posted a short report on a video shoot that I did with Jon & Kate Gosselin. More than a year later, it is still the most read post I have ever had in the short life of this blog. Obviously, with all of the recent media attention on the Gosselins, my post must come up with regularity in general searches on this couple… After watching the episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 tonight, I’m torn; should I leave the 14 month old post that speaks of a genuine couple who made time to speak with me and how much more appreciation that I had for their show after talking to them… or do I pull it down after reading:

On Monday June 22, 2009, legal proceedings were initiated in Pennsylvania to dissolve the ten-year marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin.

I’ll be thinking about this for a few days…. What do you think?