Love as a second language

While I will never claim to be an expert on the 5 Love Languages, I have managed to stay married for 23+ years… and even after nearly a quarter of a century, what I have learned the most is: I have so much to learn! My wife’s love-langaue is acts of service, I’m more of a touch guy… I’m thinking that’s the equivalent of one of us speaking English and the other speaking German.

3192072726_14c7069b10_mCase in point: If you’ve read my blog before, you may already know that our house is for sale and we’re desperate to get some one in it so that we can all live in the same place again. Yesterday, we got a call that the house would be shown early in the afternoon… that call sparked a 2 hour cleaning binge for us. At that point, all I can think about is that a clean house could mean a sold house! Crank up the music and start scrubbing, spraying, wiping, vacuuming, straightening, dusting… it’s like a real estate fire drill! In the end, the house looked great, smelled great, and we had 2 really good showings.

After all that cleaning and a long afternoon of making ourselves scarce (that includes taking the dogs with us!) so that perspective buyers could gawk in peace, we had dinner and sat down to relax and watch a movie for the evening. As the movie started, my wife looks over at me and says, “Isn’t it nice to have the house all done?” …I knew it was coming, I just didn’t know when! She cracks me up! Not that she doesn’t want the house sold or rented… first, she just wants the house clean! I know this, but I still have a hard time picking up after myself.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28 )

I may never understand a lot of German, but I will keep working on it.

What is your love language and does your spouse understand it?


4 comments on “Love as a second language

  1. Haha – my wife and I are exactly the same. She is acts of service, I am touch. It has taken lots and lots of learning to get that concept through my thick skull.

  2. We definitely do not speak the same language. I’m service/words of affirmation and he’s touch and some time. Makes it VERY hard!

  3. This is so true. My wife speaks touch and I speak gifts/acts of service.

    Our marriage (now just over 10 years) got so much nicer once we understood the different languages. I am not fully fluent in my wife’s love language yet, but I’m getting better. The key thing is to know that her’s is different from mine. Once I got that, the rest has been beautiful.

    Thanks for the post and the reminder, Steve.

    – Bubba

  4. Hubs is touch (big surprise right?) I am acts of service.

    The difficult part for me?….I don’t enjoy speaking his language. I get angry about it. I want him to speak mine, but I don’t want to have to speak his. I’m so immature.

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