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Valentimes day

Yes, I know that the title is misspelled… I have a friend who says it like that; a grown man in his 40s who thinks that the word contains the letter ‘m’. This is just one of many elements about this day that just cracks me up.

376105061_d35009183fOK, I’m jaded… I think that this is the single dumbest day that shows up pre-printed on any U. S. calendar… thus, I will only refer to this day as 2/14. I recently came to the realization why I have no interest in participating in this lame excuse for a holiday:

Several years ago, I worked for a large company… one year as 2/14 came around, I became aware of the growing angst and near-hostility among the women that I worked with. As we all went through our tasks, there was a near-constant parade of deliveries at the front desk; Flowers, balloons, the occasional stuffed animal wearing a pink t-shirt, followed by an announcement for the recipient to come up front to accept their gift. After the first 6 deliveries or so, the ooo’s and ahh’s started to lose their sincerity and the tense paranoia started to set in. Women began to watch the door with a restlessness like I had never seen before. More flowers would arrive, the receptionist would sign for them, and start rummaging through the pedals for the card to see who was the next contestant on “My Relationship is Secure!”

The women would sit, wait, and pray, “Is that for me? Is that for me? Is that for me?”. The recipient would go gather her flowers, smile and blush a little as she paraded them past everyone else. By lunch time, only about half of the women had gotten something and the other half was getting a little nervous… and frankly, more than a little angry. This is when I overheard the statement that would change my feelings about 2/14 forever. A female co-worker said to another female co-worker,

“If Mark didn’t get me anything, I’m considering breaking up with him”.

Really? Your relationship is so fragile that it’s existence is contingent on you getting flowers or some other cheap trinket on this day just because all of your friends got something? I made up my mind that day that this was a game that I didn’t want to play ever again.

Sorry, but it isn’t romantic or loving when your actions or gifts can be chalked up to some weird calendar obligation* (* This does not apply for your wife’s birthday or your wedding anniversary…I’m not THAT dumb). Can a woman be truly surprised by a gift on 2/14? Can she be truly impressed by a gift that you picked from a sea of others just like it on a table designed to make you feel like a toad if you don’t buy one for your beloved?

Wouldn’t she be more assured of your love by some gift or action on just about any other day of the year?

I would never go so far as to suggest that you shouldn’t do something nice on 2/14… a gift is a gift, I guess. But, please, don’t over-think that the actions (or the lack there of) of 2/14 are going to make or break your relationship.

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Romans 12:9

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2 comments on “Valentimes day

  1. I enjoy giving my kids a little something, but I would PUNCH my hubs if he bought any of the standard Vday gifts. I prefer him do the dishes everyday. Now THAT’S a gift.

  2. it is only on the anniversary of arizona becoming an official state in the U.S. that people give such ridiculous gifts. do people go crazy like this in SC on it’s anniversary date? lol.

    it’s a hallmark tradition.

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